I don’t know if it was really the wind this morning, it could have been other things. Like when my alarm clock was somehow set an hour slow, I think our ghost is messing with me. Or that the north garage was completely full. But the wind was gusting… And that really made me mad. I seriously wanted to punch a car or something. But when I got on the Metro I read the Express and calmed down. No use being mad all day, especially when I have to stay late at work anyway.

My latest finished project was the kegerator improvement initiative. I refiberglassed the door so that the fridge can fit full (1/2 barrel) kegs with the door open. The door is bowed out, thus giving it a pregnant look. We have dubbed it.. The Preggerator. We should really sell these things. All it would really take is an aftermarket door and drill a hole in the top and you can easily turn a kenmore minifridge into a kegerator. For the unvieling we got a keg of Newcastle Brown Ale. Probably the best beer ever, but definatley not the cheapest. I lost my camera, but I think I have some phonecam pics of the setup.

Bar Before

Expanding in progress

The door after

A minikeg (1/4 barrel) inside, see how it sticks out

Later!

So i thought it was about time to get a haircut. I’d been getting poked in the eye with my hair for a couple days now. So I just went to the local Hair Cuttrery thinking that it would be better than some fly by night place. Oh was I wrong. It may be that I can’t properly describe what I really want in a haircut. But I’m not going to take all the blame for the bad cut. I said that I wanted like 1 inch cut off everywhere and more in the back. I think she must have heard “blah blah blah, don’t cut the back… but only on one side”. I tried to fix it a little, which did make it slightly better, and slightly worse. I cut the sides a little, which made the back look more like a baby mullet. Ellen made a comment last week about cutting my hair for me. I’ll have to see tonight if she was serious and have her fix the back.
later

Left for BWI Thursday night. While fighting traffic I correctly predicted that the two worst songs in recent history would come on back to back. 1.) Shake that laffy Taffy 2.) My Humps. This trifecta could only have been completed if the third song was Popozao by Douchebag Federline. We made the flight on time and arrived in Manchester, NH at about 1030. Ben drove us directly to a bar where we listened to the worlds greatest cover band THE ZOO. The lead singer is sooooo hot. Not the dude, the chick.

So then Peter and I almost get tickets for public urination. The ever so polite officer informs Peter aka. “You and your small penis over there” that he and “The Liar”(me) that we would have to register as sex offenders if he writes us the ticket. Proceeds to make sign language and retard noises at Ben and confuses me (6′5″ bright red hat) with Dennis (5′9″ no hat). Let me tell you this is why I Hate most cops think they are very good.

So after that ugly incident is over we get back to Ben and Bonnie’s house at about 1. Bonnie has to get up at 6 to euthanize anesthetize some animals at the vet’s office she works at. But she gets bit by a possibly rabid cat and has to come home early. This is about the time we all wake up. We mill about for a couple hours and then get our stuff ready to go over to Ben’s mom’s house, which is closer to the mountain that we’re going to ride that night. We eat at a local sub shop and all gain about 5 lbs.

Ben’s mom lives in an old blacksmith’s shop that was built in 1810 and added onto in 1850. So lets say that the house is really odd. cool, but odd. The deal at Crotched Mountain starts at 6, all you can ride from 6pm-3am for $29.00. The mountain is awesome. Maybe it’s cause I’ve only been to Virginia Mountains, but this is something I expected to see in a video game or something. Especially all lit up at night. We boarded for about 4 hours and then took a break to go back to Martha Stewart’s Ben’s mom’s house. She made us Shepard’s pie, which I have to tell you at that moment was probably the best thing I ever had. So basic, sooooooo good. We went back to the mtn. at about midnight and decided to tackle some of the tougher runs. I don’t exactly suck on a snowboard, but I’m not exactly good either. so this was a bit of a challenge. We literally rode the lift to the very top of the mountain. luckily there were green and blue runs to the bottom. But by that time my legs were so sore that I could barely make heel side turns. But it was still awesome beyond words.

After getting back to the home front and drinking many cups of hot cider with spiced rum we watched parts of Donnie Darko on HBO and fell asleep. luckily ghosts did not haunt my dreams. We were supposed to get up early the next morning and hit another mountain. That did not happen.

We all started getting up at about 1030.. maybe closer to 12. But there were eggs and bacon and toast and pretty much every other breakfast food ready for us. THANK YOU BONNIE So after we gorged ourselves again we decide to go to Pat’s Peak for the day. It was an older resort and way busier but it was much cheaper than Crotched. Like Half price. The $28 admission included rentals. The weather was a lot warmer and the snow was different, but I still had a good time. My legs were so worn out that I took a couple falls just cause I couldn’t move right. But I think that Dennis’s Dislocated shoulder takes the prize for best fall. We all boarded for a couple hours, took a break at the lodge, and then went back for our final runs. I definitely wasn’t as daring this day, but it was still really fun and I can’t wait to go again.

I’m definitely going to start looking for deals on a complete setup for next year. That way I won’t have to rely on the resort for rentals. so if you see any deals, let me know!

It was also awesome to get everyone back together again. We’ll have to do that more often.

Not what you’re thinking, but close. Well actually, not close at all. I’ve found this new band that I absolutley love. It follows a theme set long ago by me. Bands that Rock and have female lead singers. It started with Shirley Manson of Garbage, then I had this thing in High School with Save Ferris and No Doubt. I think there was a bit of a chick rock drought after that? or I just can’t remember any of them. There’s got to be someone. I found HER late last year, they’re this NYC band… unfortunatley they went country, WTF. So I think it was Wired magazine that turned me onto this band.

MORNINGWOOD…They rock.

I’m not afraid to say it. I’m a dude, a 6′5″ 235 lb monster of a dude, and I like to sing along with rock chicks. Who cares, this band has energy, it’s like contagious or something.
Morningwood is a mix of things, kind of like a more pop version of Garbage with a little bit of synth built in. They have “sing along songs”, Pop rock songs,  and songs that… damn I don’t know I just like them all… let’s say it’s a nice mix.

Not to mention that the lead singer does not look bad. Although she does kind of remind me of old pictures of my sister Shelley, which kind of freaks me out.

Check them out!

MORNING WOOD WEBSITE

Later!

Lets see if I can post this from here. The Washington Office Center (WOC) uses government standard web filtering. Which apparently means filtering out gambling, porn, and video games. Fark.com and shopping are all still accessable. Also they seem to have cut off access to outside email and FTP. Which is kind of understandable, it just means that it’s a pain in the ass to post these from home. But I’m trying out a web based FTP service. So Lets see if this works.

Later!

The results are in, and it looks like 95% of the people that I’ve asked say that you can never give the same engagement ring twice. The other 5 percent are guys who have no girlfriends and therefore are not afraid to seem cheap. But why shouldn’t I be able to give the ring again?

Now I’m not going to say that I don’t understand that giving a gift you bought with someone else in mind to another person takes a little bit of the magic out of it. And I know that making this argument is just going to make me look cheap and bitter. But I’m only the latter! But, hey,  I think I have a point here. When I gave the ring, I tried to “give myself” to her and she rejected that along with the ring, so no can I never “give myself” to anyone else? Am I tainted just like the ring? If I used to love someone else and now I have a new love, is that love somehow less? Why does the ring have to be linked to one person at a specific time in my life. What I’m trying to say is that I’m tying the ring not to the person but to my idea of loving someone. If you accept my love, then you accept the symbol of it. Maybe I’m thinking of it like a crown for a queen. When there’s a new queen they don’t go out and buy a new crown for her to wear. They break out “the royal jewels” Well in my life, this is the royal jewel and besides my car, it’s the most expensive thing I own.

Also this whole concept doesn’t apply for rings that you didn’t buy. If there’s a ring that’s been in the family for a while and you give it to your first fiancee, then I think you have the right to ask for it back and give it to the next one. That doesn’t sound like such a far fetched idea to me. I don’t even think that the person who’s ring is was originally has to be dead or anything, they could just give it to you. is that some kind of loophole? If your first fiancee dies, is that better or worse to give it again? So why does buying the ring with your own money make it different. Is it the process? Is it the fact that when she thinks of where I got the ring that she’s going to think of me at the store all happy that I was going to marry someone else? If I give you my grandmothers ring, do you think of someone pulling it off her dead finger?

Sorry about the morbid imagery. What I’m talking about here is symbolism. Maybe I won’t give the ring again ( and I probably won’t because no woman is going to be that persuaded by this essay) But I should be able to. Just like we should be able to wear rings made out of cultures of each others bone tissue or a silver cast toy ring as an engagement ring. But what your really concerned about is appearance. “What is everybody else going to think?” What’s the first thing someone asks when a girl says that she just got engaged? “let me see the ring!” Now why do people say that. Well their judging the man of course. Is he rich? Did he spend a lot of money? How much does the he REALLY care? I think there should be some kind of thought behind the ring. When I bought the last one, I spent a lot of money, too much money for a young man to realistically spend on something like that. I knew what she wanted and I got it. I think If I ever do that again, I’m going to make it mean something to both of us. A little secret that we both can share. and NO the secret’s not going to be, he bought it for another woman

Maybe here’s what I’m trying to say. After you realize that there’s no secondary market for diamonds outside the diamond world, you start to see that diamonds aren’t valuable. They aren’t a good investment, they’re just expensive. Now there is a difference between expensive and valuable. Diamonds are a one time purchase, once you have it, it becomes worthless. Or maybe it becomes sentimental, only valuable to you. So why would I even want to give that ring again, It’s worthless? Why not give something else that really means something? Well that’s option A in the Mark Schumaker plan of life. Option B is that ring is worth $2500 to me. Cause that’s what I paid for it.

The stupid thing about this all is, Nobody’s ever going to listen to me about this. Everybody wants to be iced out. Everybody is falling for it, diamonds are the biggest scam of all and you’ve bought it hook line and sinker Bling Bling.

Diamonds are a wars best friend

PBS show about synthetic diamonds

Is a diamonds price the measure of it’s true value?

Ask METAfilter: Advice on selling a diamond

Ask METAfilter: Selling an engagement ring

Ask METAfilter: Selling MY ring

The DeBeers Cartel

It makes me feel gross at first, then better, then good… then I have to do it again.

When I went to the doctor the other day I got prescribed Naseral, which is a nasal steroid for relieving my allergies/post nasal drip. I hope this doesn’t mean that my nose is going to go all Bruce Banner on me and develop rippling muscles? But for it’s designed purpose I think it’s working, complaints from the Ellen department have dropped off sharply. The problem is that in order to comply with the demands that I stop “snuffing my nose all the time” I have to spray something that smells/tastes like kiddy pool water up my nose twice a day. But I tell you it’s a small price to pay for not making her angry, cause oh man.

Nobody wants to see that.

Later!

Well this makes the first year that I’ve made New Years Resolutions. Really I’ve never done them because I know that I’ll never follow through with them. I actually make resolutions every month or so, to get healthy, to get out of debt. Shocker that’s mostly what my goals are for the year.

Get out of debt.

This one is probably the hardest for me, because I have a steady job with adequate pay and that makes me think I should have money to spend. But that is NOT the case. Another problem is… that I’m good at almost everything. Now why does this sudden burst of self-confidence / ego have anything to do with spending money. Well, say I’m in the mood for a project, I know how to paint, lets spend hundreds of dollars on supplies for a beerpong table. How about retrofitting the Kegerator (that we built in the first place) to fit 1/2 barrel kegs? Well whip out the credit card for another trip to the Home Depot for fiberglass, foam, and bondo. Darts? I’m good at that too, why not buy some new ones? I think one of my problems is that I’m used to living at my parents house, not that they paid for everything all the time, but they have decades worth of crap laying around. That way I could go down to the basement for whatever part or building supplies I needed, instead of running out to buy it. I need to get it through my head that I can make due with something that doesn’t look as good. SO good luck to me on that.

Lose Weight/ get skinny/ stop being such a lazy turd.

So I’ve been meaning to deflate this spare tire that I’ve been building for the last year. But I’ve become very attached to it. Not in the affectionate way, in the way that gum gets “attached” to your shoe. Plus beer and fired foods are so tasty. I’m not going to go into details about how I got this way, I’m just a fatass. But Ellen talked about running a sprint Triathlon in the spring sometime, that seems like a good goal to get fit, and the whole “Not dying early” thing is a winner too. Eating that cheese danish on the way back from my physical may have been a bad start, but I did walk about 20 blocks, thus burning calories and saving money on Metro. Two-fer-one!

We’ll see how this goes

Later!

So what did I learn today? Well it seems like the Capitol is a few blocks from my office! AND that Union Station is a few blocks from the Capitol! AND that the Kaiser Permanente Building is just a few scant blocks from Union Station! UNFORTUNATLEY combining those all together with the fact that I can get lost in a paper bag amounts to a lot of fucking walking.

I’m usually not that sad when I get lost. Maybe it’s because it happens so often that I’m used to it. When I’m alone anyway I just sort of wander around until I find something that looks vaguely familiar and go from there. That seems to work a LOT better when you’re in a car. I really only got lost on the way there because the directions on the Kaiser website said “from Union Station walk west one block on Mass. Ave.” This may seem like a stupid question…

How am I supposed to know which way is west?

This isn’t 1806, I don’t carry a compass. And it’s overcast so I can’t see the sun or anything and moss always grows on the outside of the tree. So that’s where the walking started, once I found North Capitol Street things got better.

Since I already walked 4 blocks to the building and the lab work took about 10 seconds I thought I’d walk back to the office. So I thought I would just walk to the Capitol Building and then find my office. when I got to the building I needed to find the Botanical Gardens to get my bearings. I also thought that little guy on the top of the building was facing the Washington Monument, Damn him! SO I made 3 lefts to go right, while walking all the way around the Capitol. I swear the capitol police were watching me and about to put me on some kind of terrorist watch list. But I made it! It took me about 45 minutes, but how else will I learn?

Another thing that I learned is that I really need to figure out how to describe the book that I’m reading to other people.

“Sex drugs and Coco Puffs” is about…

Well it’s about everything.. and nothing.. and Saved by the Bell!

Also I got hit on by a black nurse… she wanted to hold my hand while I got my blood drawn… But I just tried to explain what my silly book was about instead. Also I was a little frozen from all the walking.

Later!

*UPDATE*

On reading this a second time I would just like to point out  I only said “Black Nurse” because I don’t think I’ve ever been able to attract the lovley dark skinned ladies. My usual woman has more of a milky white complection. Except for Ellen, who has sort of a “year round tan” or at least does to me, because I’m practically clear. But she’s not the norm for me… she