Archive for July, 2006
July
31
I don’t know what it is recently, but loud noises really set me off. I started noticing it last week when I was leaving work. A time I should be happy about, but when I wsa in the stairwell and the door slammed behind me I leterally had fire in my eyes. I don’t know what it was about it, it could have been that the sound was really loud echoing off the concrete stairs. But then it happened again the other day, I dropped a book on the floor and had to controll myself from punching something.
So this morning it happened again. Except with a little twist. I’m not that much of a morning person, but this morning had it in for me. I couldn’t find my wallet when i was getting dressed, then when i got to the metro station i realized that I’d only shaved halfway (a price you pay for shaving in the shower with no mirror). Then the Metro broke down at Foggy bottom and I had to wait 15 minutes for the next train. so here’s where the story really starts.
I get on the train along with my 300 othe tired commuters. We packed the car full, not full by Japanese standards but still full. The “doors closing” chime goes off, some people get stuck in the door, then they move back… all normal stuff. But then Mr. “Im all up in your buisiness”
BLOWS A LOUD FUCKING WHISTLE IN THE CAR… TWICE!
and procedes to lecture us about obeying the rules… so as I try to control the nuclear explosion inside my brain. I say something like, “thanks for the information, who the fuck are you!” I couldn’t see him, he couldn’t see me and he didn’t say anything after that. So he must not have been anyone important.
If I had been sitting next to him I don’t know if I could control myself. I my have been writing this from a jail cell right now.
Later!
No commentsI know bathrooms aren’t the stuff of famous blog posts (unless you count The Daily Download) But this is really one of my pet projects, which I’ve written about previously.
Proving the futility of the tissue paper ass gasket system.
So if you don’t like random pictures I took in my office bathroom, click away now.
So the bathroom at my office is pretty clean… that is until anybody uses it. Government workers may look clean on the outside but much like M&Ms, they contain a creamy center of hate. When it comes to the work bathroom…I’m a frequent user, one of the regulars if you will. I try to get in there in the morning before the monsters have sullied it. But sometimes that just dosen’t work out. Never fails that by the end of the day at least one of the stalls is clogged and looking like those in the pictures.
Once there was a note on the mirror telling them to use less toilet paper each time. I disagreed with that at the time since the toilets here are some kind of water saving torture device that couldn’t flush a postage stamp. But after a few months of using I realised that these maniacs were using like 4 feet per… um… download.
Rectal clenlieness aside I can’t see why you would use that much toilet paper. There’s got to be some way to prove that the Toilet Paper Ass Gasket System (T-PAGS) is futile and based on urban legend. Every few months a new 7 grader proves that something is dirtier than a public toilet seat, because on the surface that seems like a good thing to compare it to. I think the flaw in all this is that the toilet seat is not the dirtiest thing in the bathroom. It’s probably the doorknob or the sink, those filthy bastards.
What I should do is compile a list of dirtiest things (or just find one somebody else has already done) and list them in order, seeing where the toilet seat places in there. I wonder if anything else on the list has a whole industry like the t-pags built around it?
But until then I’ll continue complaining about these bathroom destroying hoolagains. Who I really feel sorry for is the janitors.
Cause I ain’t cleaning that ish up!
  |
Later!
No commentsJuly
28
Well it’s been a week since the race, I can’t say that I’m entirely glad to be finished with another season of cardboard boat building. I can still remember the smell of contact cement and double ply. But that’s probably because we used 5 gallons of the stuff, we really need to be more economical next year!
I would definatley say that it was a success this year… again. Dad’s boat won for best design, he built a functional paddlewheeler! And Our pirate ship won for “Pride of the Show” Which is really what I was going for the whole time, it also raced pretty well despite being 15 feet long and weighing over 300lbs. Take that in your brain for a little bit…
WE MADE A 15 FOOT BOAT OUT OF CARDBOARD THAT WEIGHED 300LBS
oh yeah… it had 3 masts one of them was 13 feet tall and it carried 4 people avg weight 200lbs. Lets just say that it was a big mother.
Don’t worry it was only amazing
I need to take some time off, it’s time to work on other projects. But I’ll definatley be back next year, but I don’t know if we can top this! or if I even want to!
Later!
No commentsJuly
25
ictory is ours, I’ve been going through the 1000 (literally) pictures from the Cardboard Boat Race this weekend. I should have it narrowed down by tonight so I can post them to my gallery. Rest assured that It was more than awesome.
Later!
No commentsJuly
25
In the words of that master thesipen Jack Black… “REALLY GOOD”
It’s hard to explain how funny it was without giving away any jokes from the movie or coming off as a complete racist. There are just so many bits in it that made me laugh outloud. Pussy trolls, Donkey shows, Silence of the lambs dancing, The argument about LoTR vs SW Killed!
“I just ripped on Lord of the Rings so hard I made a nerd puke!”
The way I try to explain in to normal people is that it’s really dirty, really really dirty, but REALLY funny. If you can find humor in donkey shows and racist grandmas then this is the movie for you.
“Come to think of it my grandma was sort of racist”
Kevin Smith has done a great job of following up one of my favorite movies. Or in Jesse’s case making a funny sequel to a movie he didn’t like that much.
Good Job Kev!
Later!
No commentsTHERE ARE DOZENS OF US!
Of who? Well nerds actually, possibly dorks. But Besides the ability to google pretty much anything at a moments notice, we also share an attraction to smart women. I came across this article about the 10 hottest women who are smarter than you are. My threshold for for dateable women has bent sometimes, but I do always appreciate a smart girl. And not just the ability to have a conversation while I’m trying not to get caught oogling her breasts. Check the list of smoking hot women who are way more smarters than me.. ur.. smarter than I!
Later!
No commentsActually I should be worried that something like this even exsists… but since it’s already out there lets just all have a good laugh. What am I talking about? Get ready for it.. I mean really prepare your mind for the awesomeness that’s about to be dropped on it… CATS THAT LOOK LIKE HITLER .COM.
I dont think you were ready for that.
well get ready for this… they call them KITLERS!
Oh YEAH! THAT JUST HAPPENED!
Later!
No commentsMust be some kind of Harold and Kumar sickness I have. I just watched the preview for “The Namesake” it looks awesome. I’ll bet Bharat already has tickets. Watch the preview and you’ll know why
Later!
No commentsJuly
05
Oh I’ve seen that guy. He had a tribal armband tattoo. He might as well have been wearing a popped color polo shirt, he was that guy. He spent the night reciting funny things other people thought of.
Are you Will Ferrell doing Harry Carray? Hey Funny Guy, are you passing off Pablo Fransisco routines as your own? Hey little tortilla boy? Your only orignial thought all night was… wait for it…
“why would sonic the hedgehog like chili dogs?”
Then you decided to use logic to decipher this mysterious riddle. But yet you seemed to convienently overlook the fact that hedgehogs are slow rodents who do not collect rings in an immaginary land with a flying two tailed fox as their best friend. Not to mention that the stupidest thing about the damn cartoon was that the voice of sonic was… was… Jaleel White… ERKEL. Or the unique nugget of knowledge that there were in fact 2 cartoons, one cheap and funny and one serious-ish and on ABC. But both Erkel.
So you had to have spent a fucking hour trying to prove to us that sonic couldn’t have eaten chilidogs because they make you fart… huh farts are funny.
I’ll give you credit that you can do a mean movie guy voice, but you sir are no Jaleel White.
Later!
No comments
