On my last trip to Costco I picked up a  large package of Campbell’s Healthy Select – Italian style wedding soup. Ignoring a pet peeve of mine about eating what amounts to celebration food everyday. I like Italian wedding soup, meatballs, little pieces of pasta, broth, cilantro, whatever else is in it… what could be better. Well ‘choice’ you make in being healthy seems to be abandoning your taste buds in favor of your waistline. But I’ve discovered the universal equalizer in diet food, Sriracha hot sauce. This bland healthy soup not becomes a blazing hot pho-like soup.

As for those little guys in the background… Well I’d like to tell you that I had some grand master plan for those. But really it’s that I started cooking the hot dogs when I realized that I didn’t have any buns. But like most great discoveries in human eating, this has brought a great advancement in man-food. I have discovered a way to eat a hot dog on a piece of bread without it rolling off or the bottom of the bread cracking. I know, just let that sink in for a while. All you have to do to recreate this einstein moment is… put the bread on a  plate, then the hot dogs on it, then balance a slice of cheese on it. microwave for 30-45 seconds. the cheese glues the dogs to the bread, wrapping them in a delicious blanket of security.

Schu-Review : 4 out of 5 Schus

This video both rocks and/or rolls. I’m always interested in what other countries think of the US, I don’t know if this was making fun of us… but I love it. The video features a dangerous level of sexy Italian women in skin tight pantsuits and the awkward ‘OK’ hand sign from what looks like “Italian Borat” is hilarious. The lyrics are NOT in English, but they sound like they are. So think of this whenever you’re inappropriately making the slit eyes and saying “Ching Ching Cong” … It reminds me of a post on ask.metafilter about what gibberish words non-english speakers use to make fun of americans.

via Boing Boing

This is what happens when you leave me to make my own dinner. I fear for my future children when Laurel leaves me home with them for the night. They had better get used to spicy things!

Ingredients

• Half an onion – chopped into long stringy onions.
• Half of what I thought was a cucumber but turned out to be a zuccinni.
• A big head of broccoli.
• a quarter of a red pepper.
• a cup of jalapenos from the pepper bar at Quiznos.
• 15 frost encrusted shrimp from the freezer.
• a pho seasoning packet.
• 2 packages ramen noodles.
• soy sauce.
• sriracha hot sauce.
• hoisin sauce.
• honey.
• salt and pepper.

Directions

• have a glass of wine.
• with new super-sharp wedding registry knives, cut up all vegetables into edible sized chunks.
• put in to the biggest clean pot that you can find.
• fill pot with water.
• throw in the pho seasoning bag.
• get another glass of wine.
• Sit down and finish watching an episode of “The League” .
• forget about soup.
• remember that you are cooking dinner in the other room and run back in there.
• put in ramen noodles, shrimp, hot sauce, hoisin sauce, soy sauce, salt and pepper
• stir
• put in a couple big scoops of honey, because you have way too much honey around the house.
• let simmer for 10 minutes.
• realize that all the bowls are dirty and aren’t big enough anyway, so get out a smaller pot and eat out of that.
• burn mouth on lava-hot soup.
• enjoy.

Chapter 1: Backstory.

This movie came out in 2007 and for some reason I had never watched it. I like the director’s first movie, Donnie Darko^W, but something had been stopping me from actually sitting down and watching Southland Tales^W. I heard that it was bad, but I’ve liked bad movies before (The Island, Terminator Salvation). Laurel was working on Friday night so I decided that I was bored enough to watch it.

I was unprepared.

To say this movie is bad is a disservice to other bad movies. You know when a movie is so bad it’s good? (Road House) Well this movie was heading there then it would snap back to good for a second, then dive headlong into a shit storm of terrible, then it would try to redeem itself, then it would snap off into a vat of crazy.This movie is so insane that it will make you question your own sanity.

Abandon hope all ye who enter here

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This wasn’t one of those albums that grabbed me right away, but I knew that there was something I liked about it. I think he’s finally, in my mind, moved out of novelty act territory. He’s no longer “that Hasidic jewish guy” who raps and sings reggae, this is actual good music. Like much of the reggae genre the themes of hope and fun permeate the album. There’s just something about this music that makes me happy. It’s the kind of music that makes you want to get out there and do something positive in the world.

The first track, “Smash Lies”, starts the album with a crowd pleasing energy and tempo and is one of my favorite tracks. The rest of the album is less reggae and moves into more reggae-influenced rock and pop, but it’s the peaceful attitude that ties it all together. The third track and possibly the radio single, “One Day”, is so hopeful for the future it almost crosses into cheesy. There are some songs that I might skip through if they came on by themselves, but they’re so much in the flow on the album that I don’t notice till they’re over. I know it’s just music and it wont “really” change anything, but it makes you think it’s possible, in a Michael Franti^W sort of way. The whole sound of the album is a bit like a jumble of Franti, MGMT^W, and SOJA^W

Schu-Review : 4/5 Schus

Unlearn what you have learned

1. If you try to resize a .png file and “save for web” in Photoshop as a Jpg… the results will suck.
2. Apple has a great warranty on their hardware.
3. Even with ATT’s crappy service on the Metro, if you start a streaming podcast at Lenfant plaza you’ll buffer enough to get you out the top of the Federal Center SW without any stuttering.
4. My least favorite personality trait is “the one upper” especially the non-self-aware one upper who doesn’t like New Yorkers because “they think they’re better than you”.
5. Brian Regan is still a genius.
6. Idiocracy is an under rated movie.
7. I can get an almost full wifi signal from the Starbucks downstairs when I am in the bathroom on the second floor.