It’s not like I’m afraid of them or anything, I just hate them. In my life I think I’ve had about 2 good haircuts. Well maybe when I was a kid I didn’t care, but recently they’ve all sucked. Black, White, Asian.. Especially Asian… they all give bad haircuts to me. You know those commercials where you see the person come out of the place all smiling and happy. That’s never me. I bring a hat. So here goes my story today. I’ve been meaning to get a haicut for a while. Not because it’s too long really, it was just all flippy and wouldn’t go where it was supposed to. So I go to the place, old european lady this time. Maybe this would be better?
So first thing I tell her is that I just want a trim. She actually made the comment that she didn’t want to take too much off. Why do they all say that? I know she’s just going to cut too much off. She started cutting little bittly bits off and I started to relax. Thinking, maybe this time will be different. Then it was like she would space out and just cut off a chunk and then have to fix that spot… which made her have to fix the other side too. I mean you can obviously tell I like to have long hair… I came in with it. So if all this chopping wasn’t bad enough then she commits the cardinal sin of hair cutting.
You want to keep the sideburns?
I say yeah just trim then up a little and I POINT to halfway. WHHHHAAAAAA there goes my right one. DAMN LADY! But I can’t freak out on some little old lady holding clippers when I’m surrounded by blue haired old bittys. So I just let her get the other one too. nervously smiling all the time.
So I end up looking basically just like my dad. Which isn’t all that bad, but I came in wanting to look like me. Luckily I’ve learned something through the years. The difference between a good haircut and a bad one is about two weeks.