What did I do this weekend? I spent the day at the fair. Yes, the fair. The honest to goodness, root tootenest State Fair. Not just any State Fair, but the North Carolina state fair. I’m not sure what the difference is? But Susan and Ellen convinced me that it’s a big deal. It was definitely big. B. I. G. big

Picture in your mind what you think a state fair looks like… Got it? Yeah, that’s pretty much what it looks like. The thing about state fairs is that they don’t change much over the years. There’s only so large a potato can grow 12.6 lbs and only so much grooming a goat will take. The sate fair will always be there for you. It’s kind of comforting actually, kind of like the food they sell there. Which from what I gathered is pretty much the only reason that Susan and her sister go there.

You may be thinking that they go for the rhubarb pie or Mr. Smith’s award winning pecans. But there’s a much more nefarious plan afoot. Fried “Foods”. Not like French fries and onion rings… though they were there. I’m talking Deep fried Twinkies, Oreos, and oh dear god Candy Bars.

A Deep Fried Snickers is 900 calories… God Bless America. May our wealth grow as much as our asses.

Just let that sink in a little. while you imagine 2 healthy early 20’s girls stuffing themselves with every fried food in sight. It was glorious.

The people watching wasn’t bad either, there was quite an array of mullets and John Deere attire. Many examples of Ghetto Chic and of course personalized airbrushed hats. Damn I wish I would have bought one. Later in the night we saw a guy on the ground, he had just been knocked out “Deebo” style. I’m pretty sure he didn’t die, but there were 119,000 people there… just on Saturday. When NC rednecks get together, they do it big-time. We did miss the demolition Derby, but we saw Both pig and duck races… That’s right dual species racing action.

My recap on that one, Pigs race for cheese doodles, while the ducks race for the love of the sport.

Overall it was good to get out and do something new for the weekend. I haven’t been bloggin about my other adventures. I definitely should… they’re fun too.

via NC State Fair

So in conjunction with my love of special edition candy and my love of Halloween stuff I decided to buy these little cans of Jones soda. Now you must understand that Jones Holiday sodas are the stuff of internet legends. Their infamous Thanksgiving sampler pack is one of the most disgustingly glorious ideas ever. In that light I was actually expecting to be grossed out by these. The flavors that they had were “Candy Corn” and “Caramel Apple”. The candy corn is the one that you see in the picture above. Now I don’t think they actually used food safe dyes in this drink because it was the most yellow that anything has ever been. School Busses? Yield Signs? Lemons? All pussies compared to this. Actually the only thing I could think of is Highlighter fluid. also because if you spill come on your hand… it dyes it yellow. Not sure if this is something that you should really be putting in your body… but oh well, too late now. The taste is not as horrible as you could imagine, not much flavor at all actually, just corn syrup. Probably one of the sweetest things that I’ve ever tasted. But isn’t that the real spirit of Halloween? come on people.. let’s all hold hands. The Caramel Apple soda was a little disappointing. I thought this would be the one, the gross one that is. But if you’ve ever had Jones Green Apple Soda then you’ve basically had this already. Just drop in a hint of caramel flavor.

so overall I would say that this was a success, but I would like something more substantial, like pumpkin soda. MmMmmMm seedy.

via Jones Soda

So I’m a big LOST fan. We’ve watched every moment of every episode. With the season finale last year we were a little bit let down, but the premier was good enough to make me forget about that. Then something happened. The pace and method of the show changed. The understood formula last year was that nothing would really happen for the first 45-50 minutes of the show and then something shocking would happen at the end. Then the “next week on Lost” segment would be really interesting and draw you back for next week. But the last 3 episodes have been slightly different.

NOTHING EVER FUCKING HAPPENS ANYMORE

This show is moving slower than 24, but without all the ridiculous gunfights. Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions, things do happen on the show, it’s just that they aren’t as amazing and cool as they used to be. You used to be able to analyze every little thing and try to fit the numbers in somehow. Also is it just me or is everyone on the show starting to act a little crazy, just a little off?

Take the episode where they get into the hatch and watch the orientation video. That video was useless, I watched it twice and it doesn’t say that anything bad will happen if you don’t push the button. It says that there was an incident and that the compound on the island is for studying many things. But after they watch the video Locke is all excited about saving the world? The only one that said that is Desmond, and he’s obviously nuttier than a snickers. Then Jack starts freaking out on everybody because he thinks the button pushing is stupid (which I do also) Damn I hate love this show

You know what this show is starting to remind me of? The crappy soap opera “Passions” or Dragon Ball Z because both have the pacing of a retarded snail and are filled with all kinds of loony scenarios and magic.

but really there’s no point in arguing about it… we all know I’m going to watch next week and the week after that… cause it hurts so good.

via LOST

This rocks! It’s a rock video animation that totally kicks ass. It has that paper cutout style, but not like south park, more artistic. You should watch it… and love it.

ps. It has nothing to do with War Photoraphers? just the power of rock.

via War Photographer

This movie will not make any money. I know this. I enjoy this fact. Mallrats made $800,000 when it opened in 1995, this movie made just over 5 Million in it’s opening weekend. Critics hate it. Your mom will hate it.  But I love it. It will join CLerks, Mallrats, Harold and Kumar, Van Wilder, and a string of others that are much better after repeat viewings.
It’s not about the characters, it’s about the encironment. They get the little things right. They work at Shenanaginz, a bastard child of Ruby Tuesdays and Fridays. If you have ever worked as a Server or a Cook in a restaraunt you will LOVE this movie. They bitchy customers are a little over the top. But the things that Ebert dosen’t even see are the funniest. The interaction between the cooks and the servers, Watching the stupid training videos on your first day, Faking a good attitude in front of the tables, The hot hostesses, the hotter cocktail waitresses. The devil is really in the details for this movie. If you’ve never worked in food service you might not get the full effect of this movie. But if you have… you will see the glory!

WELCOME TO THUNDERDOME, BITCH!

via Waiting

When I was at Giant on Tuesday (buying Coke Zero.. but that’s a different story) I saw that Pringles were on sale, 10 for 10 dollars. At this price how could I resist stocking my desk drawers with them? So I bought 3 kinds, Jalapeño, Fiery Hot, and the old standby Sour Cream and Onion. The problem with these little guys is that they aren’t chips, so much as they are little dusty crisps of Crack. Lays? Bet you can’t eat just one? That’s Bullshit! This is where the hot action is. I noticed that there are 6 servings in a can, at a cost to the love handles of 160 calories each. I guess it’s bad when you can imagine eating the entire can, or hell, I think I could eat all three cans in one sitting.

Eating Pringles isn’t so much about enjoying the flavor as it is an exercise in will power over addiction. I just sit there staring at the stack of chips getting smaller and smaller. Just trying to stop myself from pillaging the Pringles villages. It’s really a losing battle, just like safe sex, the only real solution is abstinence.

I think we need some kind of mascot to use in public service announcements. Like Smokey the bear, but more suited to fried potato eating. Maybe this would be a good job for Peter Griffin or possibly the “Sexual Harassment Panda” from South Park. We need to get a team on this, perhaps pass it on to a think tank.

via Pringles World Domination