For a couple months I’ve been trying to come up with a list of things that I’m looking for in the perfect woman. It has been shaping up pretty well, but something that I realized is that I’m very flexible in what I’m willing to accept. What I really need to write is a list of things that I dont want, which is much easier and much more annoying.

Punctual and won’t cancel plans
Not that I’m on time for everything, but I’m getting better. I can’t believe how annoyed I get when people cancel plans or make me wait around for a long time.

Not too high maintanence
I don’t mind a girl who likes to get dressed up. But I can barely keep a normal girl happy, I can’t be buying jewelry and clothes for these women.

Bags are packed
I’m getting to that age where I can’t expect women not to have some kind of past, a little baggage. But I can’t solve your problems. I am a good listener, but I have a limit.

Gotta be able to take it
I’ve only had this problem once, but you have to be able to take sarcasm. I dont really bring the heat on my women the way I do on my boys, but you need to have slightly thick skin.

Lying to your mom
WTF is up with that. I hate hearing that you have to make up some elaborate story to tell your mom to explain where/what/who you were doing last night. Not telling them is one thing, but straight up lying is a no-go.

Skeezy friends
I had some loser stoner friends in High School and I liked them. But the reason that we don’t hang out much anymore is that I realised that they weren’t going anywhere.

here’s where I loose some people. Every girl I have dated or liked has fallen into this catergory, and I hope I’m not offending any one.

College Dropouts
seriously, I know how to pick em’ I need a girl with her head on her shoulders. College is not that hard, going to class is about 75% of the problem. I want someone who at least has the drive to get through it. Going to NoVA is just fine.

So i’ve ranted enough about this, I don’t think that these are weird things to ask, I just want to find a nice normal girl. Seems that they are in short supply.

[15:37] theRoamingBone: and charlie said let there be vaccum
[15:37] theRoamingBone: and there was
[15:37] Mark5four0: ahhhhhh
[15:38] Mark5four0: the glory
[15:38] Mark5four0: overt your eyes
[15:38] theRoamingBone: yes
[15:38] theRoamingBone: it’s glorious
[15:38] Mark5four0: now do you remember how to use it
[15:38] theRoamingBone: that’s the hard part

These are two email’s I got from Jenn when I asked her to check out a band called “Jack off Jill” for a friend of mine…

Apparently these bands are similar- london after midnight, lords of acid, rasputina, switchblade symphony, kmfdm, my dying bride, bikini kill, murderdolls, and kidney theives. im gonna listen to that band and tell you what i think they sound like. i’ll be back again.
and this is the second one…

jesus fucking christ man, is she deaf? that shit is horrible!! seriously, ok, i’ll try to make you understand. um….. picture a chick who sounds like a five year old talking in a little girly voice saying shit about cunts and angels fucking devils and then smash some metal pans together and listen to Rosanne scream at the same time. it sucks dude.

wanted to write something about couples at Ikea, but I cant remember if I ever wrote it down. I have lots of little ideas like that. They usually come to me when I’m no where near paper or a computer. Sometimes they come when I’m laying in bed, but then i’m too tired to even roll over and write them down. One time I tried saying the idea out loud before I drifted off to sleep, btu all I could remember in the morning was “grarble grable brable, remember that in the morning” So that’s why this month has been a slow writing month. I like the couples at Ikea, and I want to be one, or I should say part of one. They all look young and attractive, obviously buying things for their first place. It’s so exciting. When I go there alone sometimes I pretend to be looking for the other half of my couple, like she’ll be just around the next corner looking at the “Naglog” picture frame set. Yesterday I got to pretend with Katey that we were one of them, it was fun. She is fun. She’s just like me in too many ways, it’s a little weird honestly. Maybe I’ll write more about this later.

If myspace could crush firefox one more time that would be great.
Am I the weird guy on here?
Nah!
If the phrase “I could do it and not feel bad about it” comes into your head, just quit thinking.
god damn this is spicy mustard!
I think I need a cool alias
I cant believe I just ate half a jar of nacho cheese.
Why make DIY gatorade? Cause I’m cheap!
Stocking the pond with corn-eyed trout!

I need to get on the ball with updating this thing. I want to keep my average of 15 posts per month up. And also I dont want to be “The Starwars Guy” so F that shit.

And no thanks I’ll just have the coffee. I walked over to the Coffee shop around the corner, It was like I walked into a stereotype. Everybody there had their skinny black glassed on and trendy clothes that don’t fit someone of my body type. I’m not fat by any means, but the trendy art-type look just doesn’t come in Ogar size. Try as I might I just cant feel comfortable in there. I’ll stick to the $9 polo that I got from Target yesterday, I’m very proud of that. Also 80% of them had their alptops out and were writing papers or otherwise occupied, so the place was packed, but nobody was actually talking. It dosen’t really matter anyway, being this close to the law school I’m sure they would be talking about something that I had no interest in. I’ll just thank my local barista and walk snobbishly towards the door, they’ll never know I’m not one of them…