The Misadventures of my foot.


In another shocking case of procrastination I have put off writing about my foot injury so long that it’s actually been healed for some time now. But I’ll see if I can relay the events properly.







So the backstory is this. I had a piece of picture frame glass in my room for the Jenn project frame and despite my best efforts to hide it from them, the maid broke it when she was vacuuming. Since I don’t really know how to dispose of a large piece of broken glass I just set it on top of the trash can when I went to bed. Thinking to myself “I really have to remember that tomorrow”. So flash forward to tomorrow morning. I groggily drag ass into the shower, somehow missing my clear death trap on the way by the trashcan. After the shower I come back into my room. That’s when it happens. I can remember it in almost slow motion. My towel grazes the edge of the broken glass, spinning it a little, a pointy piece then sticks me in the leg causing me to jerk away. That motion sends the piece off the top of the trashcan. It rotates and somehow slowly falls with the most pointy part landing directly in the top of my foot… and just sticks there, balanced in my foot.

That’s when I let out my best Ned Flanders Scream, which Jesse thought was me in the shower when cold water hit me and Greg thought I would have kept screaming if I was really hurt. I sort of just sat there looking at it, in shock. Then I pulled the gross thing out and sat it down… ugughgughhaghgaboogity. Still gives me the heebies thinking about it. I just sat there thinking of what to do about it. I put a black shirt under my foot to soak up all the blood. Just like the trailer for SAW 2 said, “Oh yes, there will be blood”. I really didn’t want to go to the hospital, I thought maybe I should. But I live by the Ferris Bueller code, emergency room = less fun than work. So I tried to go to work. I limped my way into the office, but after explaining that I got stabbed in the foot to probably 10 different people I decided that it wasn’t that funny and took the rest of the day off to seek medical attention.

Apparently Urgent Care in Vienna doesn’t take Kaiser so I drove over to the Penderbrook Kaiser building. They usually don’t take walk-ins but I looked like a confused young man who might have stigmata. So the doctor took a few minutes and cleaned me up and gave me 4 stitches. Not that impressive but still better than one! It’s healed up nicely now, I’m pretty lucky I didn’t sever a tendon or anything. So at least I’ve got that going for Me.


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