SO… I’m the Ali of Sleep.


Knuckle Children I'm a Bad Man Let me spin you a yarn about how I woke up this morning. It
involves an oversized glass ice cube, a fake kidnapping, and my fist of fury.

Shall I continue?

So it was a rough nights sleep, I kept waking up and tossing
everywhere. I think it had something to do with wearing sweatpants to sleep and
sleeping next to the pile of clean clothes on my bed. But whatever it was it
made it hard to fall completely asleep. But those are the nights with the best
dreams. I don’t remember all the details of the dream I was having but I know
it involved a kidnapping, I might have been the kidnapper or the victim, it’s
all a bit fuzzy. But what I’m sure of is that toward the end I was in the back
of a white van fighting with the driver.

He was biting my fingers as I tried to fight him from the back of the van. I
remember trying to punch him but not being able to move very fast. (
probably because I was asleep
) but then it was like the van crashed. there
was this terrible noise and all I remember is looking up and seeing a vague
white shape that I thought was a face. So I tried with all my might to punch it
(Thinking I would have to try really hard to punch)

Then BAMMMA… ohhhh the intense knuckle pain!

So now I’m wide awake, the clock, now on the floor, is screaming at me (My
alarm is somewhere between static, a buzzer, and AM radio
) I reach down to
pick up what I’m sure is giant broken pieces of glass to find my Ikea “ice
cube” light intact, taunting me with it’s half inch thick walls. So I hit
snooze and lay there, just sort of laughing to myself. I wonder if anybody
heard that?

But to my credit I would have destroyed that guy!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *