Vigilante commenting is becoming something of a morning habit for me. I think it may be the lack of sleep and not having my coffee yet, but don’t mess with me or be an ass in my general vicinity. Not that these incidents last more than a few seconds, I’m pretty sure at this time of the day I could only go back and forth with someone for a few times before my brain gives up. But I can get in one really good burst.

So here’s the set-up. One of my pet peeves is when the person in front of me can’t get their metro card to work. I’ve never had a problem with mine, I don’t even break stride going through the turnstile. But evidently this smartcard technology is beyond some people. So this morning there’s three people in our line at the turnstile middle aged black lady, young girl wearing a orange skirt, and me. Shockingly, old people have a problem with technology, she messes up, complains that the thing isn’t working, then has to back out of the turnstile. Which Metro etiquette says requires the apologetic nod or shoulder shrug, as it is your fault for screwing up the line. But instead complains when she bumps into the girl in the skirt, who says nothing, just uses her smartcard and moves on through, followed by me. All proper Metro behavior, no words or eye contact.

So to finally bring this story to some kind of end. The first lady says loudly, “SAY EXCUSE ME”, then softly, “you god damn witch”. Which for some reason caused me to blurt out, “Are you freaking kidding me? I’d take her side any day”. Not really my wittiest response, but defending the Metro Etiquette is a personal vendetta… and it was cold and early in the morning. People shouldn’t be that bitchy until at least after noon.