Author: Mark540

Her name is Laurel and she dances in the sand…

Life, Women

Laurel and I in a photobooth
Just like that river twisting through a dusty land…

I don’t usually write about girlfriends in this blog because I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable and I don’t like going back and reading old blogs about them. But I’m going to make an exception here. She’s the first girl I’ve dated in a long time that I feel I can be myself around. With Faith I had to be much more religious than I really am and with Ellen I had to be much more intellectual and political than I wanted to be. (Plus I apparently make weird mouth noises) But Laurel and I just get along so well.

I met her on the internet… Myspace actually, but the internet seems more mature. I got a message from her and I let about a week go by because I thought she was a fake person. (hard to explain, but Myspace is full of fake profiles who just want more friends)It’s hard to believe she even sent me a message, I had a picture of a skull as my profile image. (though it was a totally sweet skull door knocker that I made myself!) So after a few weeks we decided to meet for a date in real life. Which was the best decision evar.

It started out with her getting all my quotes obscure from movies that I’d seen. But that just seems like second nature now. We talk in a language of Simpsons and Zoolander quotes. (I’ve got the black lung, Pa… cough) Then it went on to being able to see what the other person is thinking. You know how couples will finish each other’s sentences? Well I think we start each others. I can’t remember how many times we’ve said “I was just about to say that?!”. Which needless to say is totally sweet.

It’s really weird that we hadn’t met before. We’ve found a couple of our friends know each other. But always 3 degrees away from us. I’d even met a couple of her friends before, but never her. They’re all cool people and we get along really well. It looks like I’m in this for the long run and I couldn’t be happier.

Later!

Louis Tulley and circular talking.

Life, Rants

There’s this guy at work who really annoys me. Annoy… that’s a soft term. When he talks I want to stab myself in the ear with a pen. He punctuates every statement with a series of little laughs, which doesn’t sound that bad… for the first thousand times. So today I’ve pinned down what really makes me cringe. First he talks way too fast, I purposely slow down my speech when I’m talking to him, hoping that he’ll get the point. (which hasn’t worked so far) He has something to say about everything, nothing that matters, he just wants to get the last word in every conversation.

But really it’s this… he talks in circles. Kinda like Yoda, but he starts at the beginning of the sentence. Here is one statement that I heard this morning.

I didn’t see them here last night, they’re usually here by 7. I was here last night and I didn’t see them.

This doesn’t sound that bad. But just think if every sentence was like this. Coming at you at a hundred miles an hour for 8 hours a day. So what lesson did we learn today kids? Say things once… slowly… and take a shower for once dammit!

Later!

Why we shouldn’t be in Iraq

Life, Rants

I can’t even find a way to start this blog. Does the US as the semi-lone superpower have a responsibility to help everyone? Is China out there in other countries deposing dictators? What about… well anybody else. I don’t think it’s any of our business to get involved in the middle east. What’s my main argument? They’re fucked. They always have been and always will be. NPR Mid East History There’s nothing good that can come from the US being involved in military action in Iraq, Iran, or anywhere else over there.

America decided long ago that we weren’t going to stone people to death for “Dishonoring the Family”. We invented Jerry Springer or shipped them off to boarding school. But would we let random strangers strip them naked in the streets and crush their faces with large stones? The still practice old testament justice, 2500 years later. How do we expect to change that with bullets. If they haven’t evolved yet, they’re never going to. We could nuke the place from orbit and 10 years later they would be stoning adulterers with giant pieces of the glass parking lot.

By living around Washington DC I have know several middle eastern men. I have know Iraqis, Iranians, even a guy from Qatar. 90% of them fit into the stereotype. They only care about money, power and material possessions. They have no respect for women. And these are the ones living in America, I can only imagine what it’s like over there.

So why am I all of the sudden writing this post. Well I came across a story today, complete with video of a young woman being stoned to death in Iraq…recently. I’ve lost all hope for these people. Lets get the hell out, start buying electric cars and give the big fuck you to the middle east.

09F9 1102 … don’t sue me.

Entertainment, The Interweb

The non-geeky works spins by blissfully unaware that there’s a minor revolt going on in the tubes. I don’t really have time to explain exactly what it is (or care to) but it involves codes used to copy the new HD-DVDs. Apparently the copy protection can by undone by a 16 digit number. Here’s the best quote I’ve heard so far about it.

The companies that made AACS spent millions and years at it. The hackers who broke it did so in days, for laughs, for free. More people now know how to crack HD-DVD than own an HD-DVD player.

boingboing coverage

later!

Summer Movie Contest

Entertainment, Movies

Every movie season my boss does this contest where we pick what movies are going to be the highest grossing movies. I think I have a pretty good list this year, but I think that every time! There’s always some movie that I put on the list just because I’m really excited about and then it bombs big time thus keeping me out of the top… thank you very much Superman. I’m trying not to do that this year.

Here’s my list this year.

1. Pirates 3 $425,000,000
2. Shrek 3
3. Spider-man 3
4. Harry Potter 5
5. Evan Almighty
6. Transformers
7. Ratatouille
8. The Simpson’s
9. Rush Hour 3
10. Fantastic4 2

I did a lot or research over at boxofficemojo and thenumbers. But usually it just comes down to gut feeling. With all the sequels coming out it made it a little easier because you could look at things like how long in between movies it had been and what the previous films made. In fact my list only contains 3 movies that aren’t direct sequels and two of those are based on long running franchises (Transformers and The Simpsons). The other one is a Pixar film (Ratatouille) and they haven’t made less than 162 million ever. (A Bugs Life)

My only concern is that I might have ranked some movies too high and underestimated others. “Transformers” might be too high, Mr Bay’s last sci-fi film (the island) tanked hard. But this is Transformers god damn it. Produced by Steven Spielberg! Plus the effects look sharp and a reference from Clerks 2 tells me this is going to be big.

Evan Almighty might be too high also, but I just watched the trailer and it looks funny as crap. I’d say that coming off “40 yr old virgin” and “The Office” , Steve Carell is hotter than Jim Carrey was at the time. The thought of someone building an Ark in New Jersey also makes me laugh… you know in case it rains… or something. (see the preview…)

I had to leave some big movies off the list. It’s not like I don’t think their going to bomb, but the 10th place movie will probably make 120 million or so. So “Die Hard 4”, gone. “Oceans 13”, Gone. “Bourne Ultimatum”, gone. All rated R, or nearly R and part of franchises that are going downhill. so I chose Fantastic 4 as my 10th placer, the original made 150 million. In a world where “Ghostrider” can be a hit always pick the superheros.

We’ll see how this goes!

later!

Spagetti Western Omlette

Life, Rants

Men’s bathroom etiquette is something that is very high on my list. We’re all in there to do important work, but I don’t want to be your partner in crime. I spend my time in there playing games on my phone and trying not to breathe through my nose. But today I felt like I was Tom Arnold in Austin Powers. The guy wasn’t even in the stall next to me and I still felt for him… really I felt like he was going to get some on me.

[Austin Powers is drowning a man in the toilet]
Austin Powers: Who does Number Two work for? Who does Number Two work for?
Cowboy: Yeah, that’s it! You show that turd who’s boss.

He shuffled in past my stall, sat down forcefully, unleashed the monster and held on for dear life. That’s pretty much when I decided I’d had enough of the throne room and it was time to leave. While I was getting ready to leave I heard him fart the “Gunfighter Music” from “The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly”. A tumbleweed rolled by the sink as I left our mysterious stranger to duke it out with the beast.